Earlier this afternoon, I caught myself googling, “can unicorns fly?” The answer was no, because a Pegasus is the flying horse-like creature. I then caught myself googling the plural of Pegasus (Pegasi). This made me wonder: what kinds of odd-ball stuff have I searched for over the past year? So, I hunted down my search history and made a small list. This is only a teensy-tiny portion of my searches (Because we’d be looking at hundreds and hundreds of searches ranging from school topics to Bible verses to song lyrics), but it gives you a taste of what bounces around in my head at times. When necessary, I’ll try to offer an explanation. Because I think you deserve an attempted explanation if you read through this list. All I can say is, I sure hope no one’s out there in Internet Land trying to cater to my searching habits.
**Note: Yes, these are all real things I’ve googled. Yes, I get distracted on the Internet. Yes, I’d like to think I have my smart moments…this list just doesn’t demonstrate many of them.
50 Things I’ve Googled
- What do you do when your rain boots turn yellow? – This is a legitimate question I had. They are still yellow :(
- Google – Who doesn’t google Google at least once?
- When did the phrase “old as dirt” originate? – If I remember right, I couldn’t find an answer. The phrase “old as dirt” really is as old as dirt. Huh.
- Why did Paul write a letter to the Romans instead of visiting? – Was he in prison or just not in a road tripping mood?
- Baby name meanings- I search this ALL the TIME. This is where many of my character names come from, since I like name meanings to match the character’s personality.
- Pet fish names – One time, I got a pet fish. Then he died, so I got another pet fish. Then he died so I got another pet fish. Eventually, you run out of good fish names and have to reach out for some help.
- Which baby name means “immortal?” – I looked this up again just to see which names meant this. Some of the results: Afanas, Afanasei, and Afanasii. All Russian in origin. Nice manly names for my future sons?
- Worst baby names of 2011 – Poor kids.
- Justin Beiber’s birthday – I don’t even know…
- Corduroy – This one was searched for multiple (meaning, at least four) times. I have a thing for corduroy and a story behind my really great pair of corduroy pants.
- argyle – Just an obsession.
- What monkey has huge eyes? Tarsiers.
- Shape of Holland – I drew my mom a really great map of Holland in Draw Something. It was au-then-tic.
- Types of cheese – There are so many wonderful cheeses out there. You just don’t even know until you google it.
- Is zumba wholesome? – I’m smacking myself on the forehead over this one.
- Online ruler – Don’t know how I thought this would work out…
- Where is Kremlin? – My French textbook expected me to know where this is! It’s in Moscow. Now I know.
- Inappropriateness – I promise I wasn’t looking up inappropriate things. I just wanted synonyms for the word.
- What is the Beast’s real name in Beauty and the Beast? – Every girl needs to know this.
- Giant panda – I mean, who doesn’t want to learn about pandas in their spare time (or their should-be-doing-something-more-productive time)?
- Health benefits of hula hooping – I bought a hula hoop and was hoping the Internet would tell me I could get a six pack if I used it enough. We’re still working on it.
- Senioritis – Last year I was convinced I had the sophomore version of senioritis, so I wanted to identify the symptoms.
- Doofus – Trust me, I’m wondering the same thing as you.
- Pie – Not the math kind (which is pi and is gross), but the fruity and delicious kind.
- Christian pick-up lines – Never know when these might come in handy….I’m kidding, but some of them are the definition of hilarious.
- Most common male first names in the U.S. – This list must be pretty accurate because I know people with almost all of these names, and I know, like, over a dozen people.
- Types of cat beginning with “P” – There’s, like, three breeds. It was for a poem, but the kitty didn’t make it into the final draft.
- The Greek ideal man – This is fascinating, but a strictly school-related search.
- Triceps extension machine – For when your triceps are just…too…short.
- Ottoman – I told one of my sisters that if I ever open a furniture store, I’m naming it The Ottoman Empire. I thought it was brilliant! She didn’t.
- Super fly – Because sometimes I like to think that I am ; )
- Funny appropriate bumper stickers – Somehow this tied in to a class I was taking.
- 4-piece bikini – No, I don’t own one, but they really do exist and I wanted to see what it looked like.
- Cinnamony – Microsoft Word had the audacity to tell me this wasn’t a real word, even though it fit perfectly in a scene I was writing. I used it anyway. Boom.
- Are jackalopes real? – I say yes. The Internet says no. Who is more credible?
- Best Christmas love songs – I was writing a story set at Christmas, so this was in the name of research.
- What does a black hole look like? – Let me take a wild guess…
- Beat boxing – This Baptist can beat box. Sort of. Not really.
- Scrabble words – Q without U – You do what you can to maintain your Words with Friends reputation.
- Easy explanation of Dialectical Materialism – After searching for this, I concluded an easy explanation doesn’t actually exist.
- Social Ideological Apparatus for dummies – I was desperate, okay?
- What is the opium of the people? – I’ve looked this up countless times, and I honestly can’t remember the answer to this. But it has to do with Marxism, if that tells you anything.
- Irresistible – I typed this in and my Facebook profile popped up. That was a joke.
- Who invented the pretzel? – The public needs to know!
- Spreadage – They told me this wasn’t a real word, either.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger – There were things I wanted to know.
- Brands of butter – I think this was part of an inside joke with one of my sisters. Or maybe I was just curious.
- S’mores over a hot plate – One of my best friends will tell you I should never have access to these two items at the same time. The probability of what happened to me was so ridiculously-low, I had to google it to see if anyone else’s marshmallow had ever spontaneously combusted over a hot plate. I found nary a kindred spirit.
- What did the cube steak say to the lantern? – Believe it or not, I couldn’t find the punch line to this joke.
- The world’s longest list of chicken sayings – This far into the list, I’m at a loss for explanation.
So there you have it! If there’s anything left to be said, it’s that I’m incredibly thankful for the Internet. Without it, look at how much less knowledge I’d have!
Now, you go see what all you’ve typed into the search bar over the past year, report back to me, and make me feel more normal.