Kaycee Lookingbill will be graduating in May 2018 from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary with a Master’s in Ministry to Women. She is a Generation LINK resident in Raleigh, NC, at Open Door Church where she serves in women’s discipleship and college ministry. Although she’s been in NC for 2 years, she is still an Okie at heart and most days you can find her at a local coffee shop, laughing with friends, & Insta storying (@kayceelookingbill) about the awkward random things that happen in her life.
Dear Single Girl in Ministry,
Oh, how I wish I could sit with you over coffee and chat all things ministry, Jesus, and singleness. I’m sure we’d laugh and cry and get fired up with passion. There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but I’ll try to keep it short and sweet.
First, I’d tell you that I get it. I get the excitement and joy of ministry. Seeing girls coming to know the Lord and growing deeper in Him. The joy of pouring your life out into the church and using your gifts to build the Kingdom. I’m convinced that besides knowing Jesus in a deeper way, there is nothing better than using your gifts and talents to edify the church like only you were made by Him to do.
I also get the frustrations, loneliness, and pain that come with it. I understand the frustrations of being a woman and trying to find your place. I understand the sting of loneliness that comes from being single in ministry. You come home and there is no one to share your day with. There is no one there to cry with you or to celebrate the victories. Most days you are content being single, but there are some days when you’re driving down the road and you just want someone there to go anywhere with you—even if it’s just the grocery store. You dream of days that consist of doing nothing with someone. I get that little yearning you feel when you see couples you love serving together and you wonder when will you get that.
Oh sister, I understand all of the emotions you feel. Sometimes it’s overwhelming and you feel like you’re on a roller coaster (and you don’t even like roller coasters).
I want you to know, God sees you. He sees it all & He cares. Oh my lanta, He cares. So cry out to Him. Seriously, He can take it. (I’ve told Him the “deal” plenty of times, and I know He hears because He’s been answering so many of my prayers. Not always like I think He will, but He’s faithful).
And what you’re doing, it matters. It’s eternal. Kingdom work is eternal. Please do not give up. Believe me, I know you’ve thought about it. I’ve thought about it. I’ve realized I am so much quicker to choose the lesser things in life. That’s why I resonate with the lyrics, “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. “
That’s why I am writing these words on my heart from 1 Corinthians 15:58 which says, “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”
Sister, hold fast. Stand firm. Endure. Persevere. Don’t give up. Continue laboring.
And for the love of all things good, DON’T WASTE THESE YEARS. Cherish every single moment. Do all of the things that you can do because you’re single and have the time. Have college girls over to spend the night. Invite staff members and their family over for dinner. Travel and see the world. Get a puppy. Buy a Kitchen Aid mixer (you don’t need a husband to get one).
Fix your eyes on Jesus, love deep, serve hard, & laugh at all the awkward moments.
Your Single Sister
(P.S. to read previous posts in this series, click here)