My Kind of Average

Of Cell Phones and Classy Restaurants

Whoa, it’s April. How did that happen? I’m actually writing this on April 1, which means it’s April Fools Day (it also means I’m at least occasionally prepared in advance for blog posts). Of course, I didn’t actually realize it was April Fools Day until one of my professors mentioned it. I would say that I was still so caught up in celebrating Easter that I forgot about Prank Day, but honestly, my brain is just so sapped from this semester of school that I’m surprised I managed to match my clothes this morning. I just need to survive this week, then I can focus on enjoying my week off writing a research paper. One day when I’m all mature (ha) and married and motherly and all of that, I’ll look back on this time of my life with fondness and say, “Oh, how I wish I could return to the days of endless homework.”

April Fools.

I’m writing this in a public place, and I actually just smiled at that lame attempt at a joke. That’s how desperately I need a break. Oh, me.

Anyway, speaking of my head being depleted of all that is my brain, I thought I’d spend today’s post enlightening y’all on a couple of my non-academic happenings. I’m doing this because it doesn’t require much critical thinking–except for when I have to spell the word “restaurant.” For some reason, I just can’t spell it correctly. English majors are human, too.

Fasten your seat belts, folks.

1)  Speaking of forgetfulness, I left my phone at home this morning. I won’t return home until Wednesday. Thankfully, my mom is coming into town in about an hour, so she’s bringing it to me. I don’t like to label myself as technology-dependent, but not having a phone riding around in my pocket is really messing with me. Here are some things I’ve learned about not having a phone:

  • I have no concept of time and have to trust in the accuracy of the wall clocks at school. One time, some kid set one back fifteen minutes and the professor let us out early. He wasn’t happy. And no, I was not  responsible for that.
  • I have no contact with the outside world, only the other zombie-like students wandering down the hallways. No offense to all you students out there – you know what I mean.
  • I have nothing to fiddle with while waiting on class to start. Now I have to actually make eye contact with people.
  • I’m completely kidding about the previous statement. I love people.
  • I can’t send my fifteen-year-old sister pictures like this whenever I want:


His name is Happy Homework Helper Kitty. He lives in my Literature notebook.

So as you can see, I’m having an off day.

And now, the classy restaurant (Ha! Spelled it correctly on my first try!) saga:

Last weekend, we went to a classy restaurant for my mom’s birthday. I’d only been there once before, and it had been several years since then. It’s one of those places where the menu items are referred to as “dishes,” and the waiters talk about how different types of fish please the palate. Personally, bacon pleases my palate just fine, but it was a special occasion. Anyway, my sister Abby (recipient of the aforementioned picture texts) thought it would be hilarious to point out prospective male companions for me. We talked in code and weird hand motions and said things like, “Ooh, look how pretty that wall art is over there!” and “Prospect, one o’clock!” We were super subtle. 

Right after that, our bread came, so I decided to help my littlest sister get some bread. They have this tasty, fancy concoction for you to dip it in, so I asked her, “Hey, do you want some of this butter juice stuff on it?” Of course, the waiter guy was standing right there and heard it all. Plus, Abby informed me shortly thereafter that it was olive oil; no butter involved. Hm. As much as I enjoy fine dining, I’m not very good at it. I’m sure I could improve with practice, so if anyone wants to treat me to a fancy dinner…

At one point, I grabbed my water glass to take a drink…right as the waiter was trying to refill it with the water pitcher. In my defense, I didn’t see him, and I think he thought I was raising my glass for a refill. So, to his credit, he made a nice recovery by swooping the pitcher away from my face in a “Oh, just wanted to make sure you noticed the exquisite details on this water pitcher” kind of way. Meanwhile, I just wanted to cleanse my palate.

I probably shouldn’t sit near Abby at restaurants, because she pokes fun at my social graces. It took her a while to get over the water glass incident.

Overall, we had a great time celebrating my mom’s birthday. I ate a delicious, “palate pleasing” dinner of chicken, chickpeas, and whipped potatoes (which is the classy way of saying mashed potatoes), followed by a decadently chocolaty dessert.

So those are a couple of the things I’ve experienced when I haven’t been stressed about my own, personal Mt. Everest of class assignments. Reminder: The Go Teen Writers giveaway from last Thursday’s guest post is still open, and will remain open until Thursday (April 4) at 11:59pm EST. So CLICK HERE for more info and to get yourself entered!

All right, that should do it. I’ll be back at some point on Friday to announce the winner of the giveaway and provide you with who knows what else. I’ll be on Spring Break by then, so whatever it is may be accompanied by excess exclamation points (!!!).


**UPDATE** I have been reunited with my phone! I wouldn’t go so far as to say the absence made my heart grow fonder, but…it kinda did. At least, I’m taking it less for granted now.


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